The Cold Light of Day: missing more than family

The doldrums of September are finally upon us. It’s that time of year when Hollywood gives full expression to its disdain for movie goers by dumping its crappiest tax write-offs into empty theaters. Enter The Cold Light of Day, a movie so bland and forgettable that, despite having seen it less than twelve hours ago, I actually had to look it up on IMDB.com just to recall the title.

The Cold Light of Day is a product-placement travelogue in search of a coherent thriller. A poor imitation of the best Bourne films, it’s confusing and illogical, with plot lapses and continuity blunders.

Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver star alongside Henry Cavill in this story of a young man who finds his family abducted by terrorists during a vacation to Madrid. Why is his family kidnapped? Because his dad, Bruce Willis, is secretly leading the double life of a CIA agent.

Never before have I seen a movie where the characters themselves seemed so bored to be in their own movie. The entire supporting cast provides dead-eyed, monotone line readings throughout the film’s torturous 93 minutes.

But the lethargy doesn’t begin and end with the cast; everything about The Cold Light of Day feels sluggish. In one chase sequence, Sigourney Weaver plows a Range Rover into a motorcycle carrying Cavill. The bike skids off the street, but before Weaver can put a bullet in his head, he gets back on the bike and speeds away at a whopping 15 miles per hour. Weaver just stands there as if she’s too sedated to even be bothered to continue chasing him.

In another sequence, Cavill, after being framed for murder, finds himself being chased through a park by one police officer on horseback and another two or three officers on foot. He bolts down a gravel pathway and into a tunnel. Everyone in the scene can clearly see Cavill running for the tunnel. The officer on horseback is thrown from his mount before he can enter the tunnel, and the scene immediately cuts to Cavill washing his hands and face in a public bathroom. What the hell happened to the other half dozen police officers who were chasing after him? Did they just turn around go home after their buddy faceplanted on a sidewalk?

Every aspect of The Cold Light of Day, from the writing to the performances to the direction to the unimaginative title, absolutely reeks of laziness. Avoid at all costs.

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DVD Review: The Grey

Hitting the shelves of DVD outlets nationwide as of May 22, The Grey, starring Liam Neeson, is definitely one to pick up.

In the flick, Neeson plays brooding oil-rig worker John Ottway. We learn that most of the workers in this remote environment are ex-cons, which is apparently where Ottway ‘belongs’. The last day ‘on the job’, so to speak, the oil-rig roughnecks board an airplane that goes through extreme turbulence and crashes somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness.

After the initial shock wears off, Neeson takes charge of the seven survivors in a bid to escape the cold, the hunger and a pack of vicious wolves and return to civilisation. What follows is a heartwrentching struggle for survival against all odds.

The men soon realise that nature has no pity and no forgiveness and much of the drama lies in the interaction between survivors. The film remains tense throughout and some of the wolf scenes are nothing short of chair-gripping. The wolves themselves look extremely realistic if not a little Twilight-y but it is a bit hard to believe that Neesons character knows as much as he does about the everyday habits of a wolf-pack.

Never-the-less, the film is emotional, action-fuelled and darkly poetic. Surprisingly enough, it also makes one hell of a statement about religious beliefs, with Ottway roaring up into the sky at one point demanding a sign that never materializes.

The ending is also one of the finest I’ve seen, with an important piece of information being relayed to us in the final few moments. If you see nothing else this month, pick up a copy of The Grey. But don’t forget the tissues, because this one will have you blubbering like a schoolgirl by the end.

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