The Cold Light of Day: missing more than family

The doldrums of September are finally upon us. It’s that time of year when Hollywood gives full expression to its disdain for movie goers by dumping its crappiest tax write-offs into empty theaters. Enter The Cold Light of Day, a movie so bland and forgettable that, despite having seen it less than twelve hours ago, I actually had to look it up on IMDB.com just to recall the title.

The Cold Light of Day is a product-placement travelogue in search of a coherent thriller. A poor imitation of the best Bourne films, it’s confusing and illogical, with plot lapses and continuity blunders.

Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver star alongside Henry Cavill in this story of a young man who finds his family abducted by terrorists during a vacation to Madrid. Why is his family kidnapped? Because his dad, Bruce Willis, is secretly leading the double life of a CIA agent.

Never before have I seen a movie where the characters themselves seemed so bored to be in their own movie. The entire supporting cast provides dead-eyed, monotone line readings throughout the film’s torturous 93 minutes.

But the lethargy doesn’t begin and end with the cast; everything about The Cold Light of Day feels sluggish. In one chase sequence, Sigourney Weaver plows a Range Rover into a motorcycle carrying Cavill. The bike skids off the street, but before Weaver can put a bullet in his head, he gets back on the bike and speeds away at a whopping 15 miles per hour. Weaver just stands there as if she’s too sedated to even be bothered to continue chasing him.

In another sequence, Cavill, after being framed for murder, finds himself being chased through a park by one police officer on horseback and another two or three officers on foot. He bolts down a gravel pathway and into a tunnel. Everyone in the scene can clearly see Cavill running for the tunnel. The officer on horseback is thrown from his mount before he can enter the tunnel, and the scene immediately cuts to Cavill washing his hands and face in a public bathroom. What the hell happened to the other half dozen police officers who were chasing after him? Did they just turn around go home after their buddy faceplanted on a sidewalk?

Every aspect of The Cold Light of Day, from the writing to the performances to the direction to the unimaginative title, absolutely reeks of laziness. Avoid at all costs.

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3 Comments

  1. I’m glad to see your opinion on this – I was looking so forward to it but what a flop. I like Henry Cavill and Bruce Willis but man they couldn’t even save this.

    Reply
  2. Kathleen

     /  January 31, 2017

    I don’t know what everyone is complaining about. I just watched this movie and thought it was decent. It’s getting 4 stars on Netflix, which means viewers are liking it. There were a couple of moments where I thought the plot was a little thin, but all in all an entertaining movie.

    Reply

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